Living with Gratitude

Today I am filled with feelings of gratitude. I don't know when I have ever had such a wonderful birthday. It seems like it has lasted a week starting with my sister, my brother in law and niece staying with us for a few days. They gave me a beautiful handmade silver ring as a gift that is embossed with the pattern of a leaf and adorned with three rivets. My sister is wearing one as well and she calls them "sister rings". I like that it has three rivets which I like to think represent we three sisters. Having them stay with us made my house feel full-vibrant and complete. Now that they have returned home I only want to hold onto that feeling as long as I can.



While they were here we attended my cousins shower for her second baby, and again I was filled with the feeling of belonging and completeness. There is something about being with people who share my DNA, who have known me my whole life...I see myself reflected in them and understand myself a little better for it. The shower was a sacred blessed event, not like any shower I've attended before, and I really feel closer to my family for having shared the experience with them. (Many blessing on the upcoming birth of your little baby girl cousin, Jen !!)

I spent my actual birthDAY getting my house decorated and tidied for the party. My kids were with me all day, and there were countless sweet moments were each would sing happy birthday and bestow a kiss. It was a mellow cozy day, and I spent a lot of it preparing the house for the party. I love to decorate and organize things so I really enjoyed myself. I also got periodic phone calls and drop ins from friends and family with birthday wishes, and that really made me feel special. Especially since this week I've been thinking a lot about the people who are no longer a part of my life to share these special days with me. Being so supported this week ( and everyday) by the people who make the effort to be a part of my life made grieving those I've lost a little less painful.

The kids were to spend the night at their Pappy and Babus house so we dropped them off there at dinner time. (they were so excited to sleepover!) We got them settled in and headed into town to pick up supplies, which we promptly left half of behind at the market in our haste! Jess had to go back just before the party started to retrieve the bag. :)

I had put candles and strings of white lights everywhere so it created an intimate feel to the space. Less folks attended then we anticipated, but it turned out to be the perfect amount. I got to have really great conversations that I will remember for a long time with the best of people.

Most of the folks who were there I have known at least half my life, and it was great to have them there. My friend Jessica Jo brought a letter I had written her when we were 14 that her mother had recently found. It was like opening a time capsule! After reading it I was struck by how much gentler my world view has become in the 15 years that have passed, though so much has happened in my life since that could of instead embittered me. I am so relieved that the challenges I've faced have taught me to live compassionately instead of fiercely.

Many conversations seemed to revolve around the passing of years and the sense of community that sharing that time creates. After most guests had left, the night drew to a close with Jess and I standing around with four very good friends, just laughing. Hardly anything was said that we didn't laugh about. The party wasn't the type of "rager" it would have been in the past, but I really wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Tomorrow I am looking forward to another celebration dedicated to spending with just family. My mother will of course be there, and with this birthday I have now been her daughter for a half of her life, as she was twenty nine when I was born. I am thankful that being born as her daughter I have inherited her love of exploring spirituality. And I am thankful to have been sooo fortunate to marry into a family I adore and who constantly strives to walk that same path of seeking higher truths.
My expectations for the day are only that I spend it together with some of the people I love most. Thank you to everyone who has had a part in making turning 29 the best birthday I've ever had.

I am filled with feelings of gratitude.

Define Success

Violet and Forest, 2008 *

I have found some really great mama blogs lately and I have really been enjoying them. Some of them portray super moms who seem to constantly be achieving successes on the homefront or in their careers or hobbies. But the ones I really love the most are the ones which seem relatable and honest. Here's a quote I really identified with from a blog I've been following , SmallThings: "If I am talking about canning homemade jam and sewing dresses here, you can bet my bathrooms are dirty, and my laundry isn't folded. "

I liked these simple words because I find a lot of parenting blogs tend to only highlight the successes in their parenting life without recording the challenges its taken to get them there. I think moms ( and people in general) are really hard on themselves and tend to compare themselves to examples that aren't complete. When I was struggling with a twenty month old and a newborn I felt like all the other parents I knew made it look easy. They seemed to have everything under control and to be completely at ease with parenting. I wondered why I seemed to be having such a hard time compared to my peers...

And then one day a while back, my cousin asked me, " How do you do it!? Two kids in diapers and you've got makeup on and your house is clean?!!" I could not believe she thought I was the one who had it all together when a lot of days I felt like a train wreck! But she didn't see the side of me that was struggling. All she saw is two happy kids and a mama who doesn't leave the house without mascara.**

That's when I realized that comparing myself to others is ridiculous. There is no way to tell how successful a person is or feels by watching from the outside. I know the old saying, "appearances can be deceiving", but I'm guessing being sleep deprived and hormonal interfered with my logic at the time.

What I have been thinking on lately is avoiding making sweeping judgements about myself or parenting at all. With my first baby I had a lot of ideas about the "right way" to parent and that involved some judgment of others. After having raised a second child the same way, and realizing that he needed a completely different approach, I know that there is no right way, It all depends on who you are and who they are. It all is completely individual. So it makes absolutely no sense to compare myself to others whether it is negative or positive.

So I like it when I read about or talk to other people who are open about their struggles. It feels so nice to be able to relate to someone while knowing we all have our own individual challenges and success. It also makes me feel more compassionate overall to realize we are all just doing the best we can.

* adjustment period!
** masacara is my "power suit" if I have it on, I feel ready to face anything. If I don't have it on, I feel out of sorts. Doesn't need to be reapplied or accompanied by any other makeup. Just gotta walk out the door with it on.

Some pretty things I've found Thrifting

Ladybug Beetle Larvae Metamorphosis

Sesame Street - The Ladybugs' Picnic

Lady Bug Project

We have been having fun with metamorphosis this summer and the focus today was ladybugs! Who knew they were so complex?

*First we read the book we borrowed from the library the aptly named "Lady bugs" by Mia Posada

*Then we did a lady bug metamorphosis flow chart:Eggs,larva,molt,larva,molt,pupa,ladybug!

( coulda prepped that one a little better, the kids were a little bored while I cut out the shapes for them to glue)

*Made lady bug pins

*Went outside to find lady bugs (1 alive, 2 with ended lifespans)

*found a leaf that the eggs would of hatched on, a stone the pupa would attached itself to

*And made lady bug puppets with felt, my amateur sewing skills,and sticks. This was definitely the crowd pleaser!

Put it all together than found a couple of great you tube videos to watch when they got up after nap :)

It was a fun project and the kids really loved it, and best of all, we ALL thought it was interesting!

I am going to ask Jess to learn the lady bug song on the guitar :)

We are enough

Something has shifted for me in the past couple of months where I've realized that I don't want to always rush out to be part of the world outside. I had this idea of parenting and success that involved a lot of playdates, story hrs at the library with a billion kids, and organized classes like gymnastics, earning as much money as possible...we were doing it all and we were all completely over scheduled. My people are 2 and 4! They don't need to be worn out from all that business.

It was all stressful and anxiety provoking. My little people are so socialized naturally that that piece is not a problem for us. We are blessed to be part of a great community of people. So we have been spending a lot more time at home doing home like things together like weeding the garden, organizing our space, doing projects, using embroidery hoops, playing with water, hanging on the hammock, making iced mint tea and drinking gallons of it laughing with each other...

I have been embracing being at home in a whole different way. Now, this doesn't mean that I have completely stopped practicing Massage and Polarity,I am still working. I just shifted the amount of time and expectations I want to put into it. I can work full time later when my children are older, however, I can not enjoy their toddler years later. That is happening NOW.

And this also doesn't mean we aren't meeting with friends or getting out of the house. We are just ditching the stress.We are being less scheduled, more spontaneous. We are being more forgiving of ourselves.We go to the library when its a little more mellow. We limit playdates. We hang about and read to each other. I am learning to let go of what people want us to do or be a part of. I have given myself permission not to be available to everyone all the time. I have chosen to live a more present and conscious life.
I think its taking some sacrifices to make it happen. Working less means spending less. Also I have been working really hard to let go of the guilt. I feel a lot of pressure as to what I "should" be doing. I am part of an empowered generation that has the choice to work and/ or stay home. ( I understand, of course, that for some there is no choice.) But its a double edged sword. Work too much and I am not able to manage my home life and connect with my people. Work too little and it feels like I should be contributing more monetarily.

But you know what I have decided?

F that noise.

American culture is one that constantly wants more, works more, spends more, consumes more, needs more. I am sick to death of being part of that viscous cycle. We are turning into a nation who doesn't know how to be content with what we have. A nation who doesn't know how to experience being grateful.
And it is hard to stick to a budget in a culture like this. We are raised to equate happiness with material objects. I don't believe in that at all, yet I still find myself dreaming of a new car or an expensive vacation. "I will be happy when I have...." The problem with that kind of thinking is that there is always something else to want. So how could a person ever be happy?

I have found that I feel so much more connected to my kids, my husband and myself now that I am learning to let go of the status quo. I am pareing down the budget. We are being mindful of what we bring into our house. We are buying used and repairing what we have. We are making our own laundry soap for goodness sake! We are not focusing on what we don't have. We aren't focusing on what we should be. We are focusing on who we are and what we have. And you know what? By living consciously, it turns out we have EXTRA. I am am learning that I am enough, no matter what. And I will teach my children to know that about themselves. We are all enough!

The hunt for the Heart of the Home

I have been looking for a new (to me) table since we moved two years ago. My beloved 1950's dinette set that worked so well in my old apartment just doesn't jive with the vibe of this house. It was the heart of our home and I hadn't found anything that even came close to filling its role.

You can see a corner of it in this pic of Vi



I had a very specific idea about what I wanted for this house:
* roundish.
* wooden.
* Inexpensive.
* Extends to fit a minimum of ten people.
* Sturdy enough to handle an rambunctious two year old and an avid 4yr old artist.
* Comfortable, durable chairs.
* Easy to clean surface that doesn't get that gross stickiness.

Soooo once I got really specific about what I wanted and put it out officially to the universe ( I am telling you, affirmations work!) We found it half a week later. and its perfect. My very favorite part about it is that it has a story!

My husband has lived in this town since he was 6 months old. His family knows everyone, and everyone knows them. A neighbor down the street used to babysit him as a young boy, and this table is the one he sat at while he spent time there. He actually remembers being taught to play "go fish" at this table!

The kind woman who owned this table passed away recently and the family had an estate sale that I am sure was very difficult for them. This table was for sale there and we scooped it right up. It met all of our requirements. And in being in a town where everyone knows everyone, I received an email from the woman's grand daughter whom I went to high school with. She wrote that she was so happy that "Grammies" table was going to a nearby and loving home. It brought tears to my eyes!

And on her birthday, I taught Violet to play go fish at our new table, and I look forward to gathering my family around it for years to come.

The 4th and Four

Pin the Star on the Flag

The kids decorated their cupcakes

Blowing out the candles

Me explaining the embroidery hoop we got her

First Embroidery Project!


My daughter turned Four this July 4th and it feels like she is so big! The night before her birthday I was telling her the story of my labor and her birth at our home. I told her how I would put my hands on my belly and think about the type of child I hoped to have. Looking at her now, a great big 4 yr old, I see a girl who is kind and creative. Funny and silly and a great singer/dancer. I see the daughter who is exactly the type of person who I think will create change in the world just by being the light and bright compassionate being that she is. She is a girl who knows the power of the words she speaks, and often times already knows to think before she uses them.
I couldn't ask for a better daughter, or friend.
Happy Birthday, Big girl!

Violet Ray Greer 7lbs14oz 21 inches long born 11:56am July 4th 2006

Inspirations, Madisyn Taylor

I was reading Madisyn Taylor's book, Daily Om, and I came across this excerpt that I wanted to share.
From the chapter, Seasons of Beauty:
"Our early years tend to be about learning and experiencing as much as we possibly can. We move through the world like sponges, absorbing the ideas of other people an our surroundings. Like a tree in spring, we are waking up to the universe. In this youthful phase of life, our physical strength, freshness,and beauty help open doors and attract attention."

What a gorgeous and lovely way to describe the first part of life! I looked at my children after reading this and thought what amazing potential is growing in them, they are at the time in their lives where everything and anything is possible. What an amazing time to guide them through!

Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald - Cheek to Cheek (Heaven)

5 years later

Our wedding day, June 25th, 2005



5yrs later, June 25th, 2010





I have been blessed in enormous ways in my life. Most of all to be married to my best friend and soul mate. We spent our 5 yr wedding anniversary at the wedding of our Best Man, and almost all of the guests who attended our ceremony were there!

After all the speeches and first dance, cake cutting and the like, Jess surprised me by taking up the microphone. There, in front of friends family and other guests, he spoke about how lucky we were to be so happy after 5 yrs of marriage, how blessed we were to be best friends. How wonderful it was to be raising a family together. He said all the things I felt in my heart and ended the speech with saying, "I love you,I love you, I love you."
Then he cued the music, " cheek to cheek" and we danced in the middle of the whole wedding reception! It was an amazing and thoughtful gift, and I am a lucky girl indeed. I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with the man who will always have my heart.

hats and a great party

Mandy showcasing the hat I made for her!

Mandy and Mandy- and here's how my hair came out

Some of the most rockin ladies I know!

So I did not bring my camera to the wedding*, but a friend gave me these pictures to share with you. There were a lot of folks who made great efforts with their hats and really everyone was dressed to the nines! What a pleasure to spend time with so many of my favorite people, all in one place! The funny thing is that you can't even see my hat in any of the pics because its pinned behind my victory rolls! Also, a lot of hats were taken off by the time these pic's were taken! Anyway, great time, good people and it was fun to get dressed up!!

Oh wait I did get one good** pic of a hat....


* No pics of the actual wedding, cause it ain't my place! :)
** back off ladies, he's taken!

KINO PROBY!!!

Come on down and kick it old school with the handsome gents of Kino Proby next Thursday night! It's a great, fun energy show you won't easily forget...be there or be square, my friends!!


Kino Proby - Empire D&D - 7.1.10 - "Sweat rock and American Beer"
Thursday, July 1, 2010 at 9:30pm
End Time:
Friday, July 2, 2010 at 1:00am
Location:
Empire Dine & Dance - Portland, ME

Hat's Made...

Oh man, I love a project with a purpose. I used to be a able to create artwork all the time just because I had the inclination. Of course that changes a bit once a person has two little toddlers bouncing around trying to eat beads and paint! And for a little while I grieved that loss of spontaneous creation....but now I have come to realize that the time I do spend creating is all the more precious, and what I create has much more value to me. And so, usually it has to be a project with a purpose for me to budget the time to do it.
So during the kids nap time today I made a hairpieces/hats for the wedding on Friday. I plan on making a few more in the future as it was a completely lovely project. I used feathers, felt, brooches, fabric flowers, pearl accents, wire, needle, thread, booby pins and of course a glue gun! Here's how they came out:







While I was chatting with my talented and creative sister earlier today, she reminded me of a blog I forgot about called Soule Mama. It is the blog of Amanda Blake Soule, it's beautifully written and full of gorgeous photographs. I find it incredibly inspiring. Upon revisiting the blog I ordered her two books that I had intended on aquiring the last time I read her -"The Creative Family: How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections" and Handmade Home: Simple Ways to Repurpose Old Materials into New Family Treasures" I am really excited about them!!

Also, looking at her blog reminded me that its high time I take some sewing lessons. I've got an old sears kenmore machine I've made a few things on, mostly curtains and a couple dresses for my little girl...but since I can barely rethread the thing its definitely time to get some professional help! Also, I saw an ad for this book featured in Bust magazine and I really want to try it out! So sewing lessons it is.

I am really getting excited to see what people wear for hats on friday and I still plan on keeping you posted. I hope to see some folks sporting homemade chapeau's ( at least one of mine, anyway!)!

Loving Hats

I am attending a wedding this coming friday, and the invitation has encouraged hats for the ladies. I LOVE this. Of course I have the perfect hat already, the only dressy one I own in fact. It looks to be of 1940's vintage. It was given to me by my mother, who has many such things, being an antiques and flea market enthusiast. I just adore having a reason to wear it! I plan on styling my look entirely around the hat, with victory rolls, retro black eyeliner and pearls.

A couple of gals have asked my opinion on what kind of hat they should wear, and I've suggested they make simple hair adornments from flowers and feathers. I decided to try and find some ideas (gotta love google) to help design the pieces and I came across two websites I just had to share...
I adore this one: www.villagehatshop.com
I love the amazing and creative designs showcased on the site. Also it had this great quote that was right up my alley: "Have nothing in your house that you don't know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." William Morris.
I am not sure what that quote has to do with hats, but I love it anyway.

This other site is more of a really? This is a real thing? kind of link:

www.hatsofmeat.com

I doubt there will be any hats of meat at the wedding...but I will post any hat pics I take.

Here's Mine:



( The label reads "New York/ Paris/ Mr.John/ Caprice")



The hat is meant to be worn feathers forward, but I prefer the velvet bow to be in the front, so that's how I'll wear it, cocked slightly left to make room for the rolls. I'll let you know how it all turns out!

Bloggerish

I am starting to suspect that I am not much of a blogger...I am more of a blog enthusiast...all of my favorite blogs post a few times a week, even if its just a random photo now and then. I have lots of idea's to post, but posting seems to be somewhat low on my priority list. But when I do get to it, it's a fun way to reach out to people or just get my thoughts onto the page.
So, folks, you can expect more of the same from me, sporadic bouts of posting in no particular order, with no particular theme, based on my varied and changing interests. Hopefully it'll be fun for you, too!

Yahd Salin'

As is a time honored tradition for many Mainers, I will be going yard saleing bright and early tomorrow morning. I have been looking forward to it for weeks and even have a list of items I hope to find for a bargain. ( we already know I am a thrifty gal) what I am curious about is whether memorial weekend is synonymous with yard saleing for the rest of the country, or is it just a Maine or New England thing?
In fact, with the help of my in-laws I've already scored this Thomas the train table for $30!!! Talked him down from $40 via cell phone, boo-yah!! And its only friday!

( this was a sneak attack photo as y0u can probably tell by Vi's expression)

And also of course, on Monday I will be participating in the real meaning of the holiday and taking time to remember all those who have passed and served before us, loving them and toasting their memories!

Here's to a great weekend everybody, cheers!!!

May 12th 1981 and May 12th 2008

Happy Birthday Jess and Forest you share the day well.




















xoxo

Pimp my ride

My husband brought a lovely bicycle home a couple weeks ago. It needed a lot of work, new tubes, gear cable rust removal...







But he finished it, with the kids help, for Mother's Day! It's got a nice big basket
( filled with lilacs), and he even added a bell! It's a sweet ride and finally I have a bike that fits me! I love it. It is exactly what I wanted, but that is not what makes it special. It's the time and thought put into the gift, and the fact that it will enable us to spend more time together as a family biking around town. I couldn't ask for a better family this Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day.

The baby years

My sons 2nd birthday is in 10 days and suddenly it seems like my children are growing up so fast. He is officially done teething and has started potty training. My daughter picks out her own clothes and can dress her self. She asks me questions about metamorphosis. He asks us to play trucks with him and tells us when he's hungry.These milestones are wonderful and amazing, I am so proud of them. They are becoming more self sufficient. Everything suddenly feels manageable and easy.We have so much fun together.
So with this seemingly sudden freedom comes a strange feeling of space in my life. A space that I prayed I would make it to in the days that I had two kids under two years old in diapers. A space I prayed for when one I finally got Forest to sleep through the night and Violet was up teething. A space I knew was far off when we decided to have our children so close together. A space I have worked hard to get to.
So here I am. Violet is close to the end of her first year of preschool and Forest only has another year before he starts. I have been able begin building a successful Massage and Polarity Therapy Practice and I love my work. Everything is going along according to plan. (literally, I have a detailed plan) So why does it feel so strange?
I have an this constant and overwhelming awareness that time is passing. There has always been the small possibility that we would decide to have more kids, but mostly we've thought we were done. And honestly I don't think that has changed. But Forest's birthday seems to mark this as a certainty that feels so concrete, so absolute. We are moving on to the next chapter in our stories and perhaps it feels strange to move out of an era we have been so completely enveloped in. I can equate it to driving on a highway, focusing so hard on the map and suddenly looking up to find you've arrived.
The chaos of teething and diapers, baby food and sleep training is behind us. Our life has slowed down enough that I am able to appreciate our children in a new relaxed way and really enjoy this time with them. But as we move forward into this exciting new time we are leaving behind those toothless grins and fuzzy baby hair. We are leaving behind first words and steps and moving towards first soccer goals and sleepovers. We are moving forward while fondly looking back. We are moving away from the baby years and I can not believe that its going by so fast.

Secret Geek Super Power: Getting Organized

So its been a busy 2010 so far. I have been working my butt off creating an office for and launching my Practice as a Massage Therapist. All the while working to maintain connections with my family and keeping up with friends. I've found that the only way to keep everything and everyone humming along is to get organized.
This is happy news for me. I LOVE organizing. I LOVE getting rid of stuff. And being a Free Bird I mean, I really love it. It may be my secret geek superpower.

Here's what I've been working on:

I made this little craft supply holder out of a blanket storage bag



My lovely sister in law gave me this for toy organization



Here's how the my new Massage and Polarity Therapy Office came out:



I absolutely love it! And remember, Full hour sessions for only $50 for the month of April!

I also have been working really hard in my kitchen, because I find that we eat better when I have a clean fridge and an organized pantry. I came across some of my old meal plans and cookbooks and its given me the kick in the arse I needed to get excited about cooking again.
Also I have discovered a new blog via facebook, and that has given me the inspiration to be organized in a new way with my finances. ( Oh, man, I Love designing a new budget!) check it out at: www.eventualmillionare.com
Also, I have a day planner and a calender, and you would think that would be enough, but we are a very visual family and needed something where we could all see what everyone was doing weekly.

So here's what I came up with:




All of this is helping me to purge alot of our uneeded stuff So I am planning my first ever YARD SALE! We usually donate everything to goodwill and will continue to do so in the future, but I am pretty excited about trying a little backyard bargaining! My goal is to make enough to tune the piano or buy something frivolous, which we are not in the habit of doing.
There is joy in opening up a closet and finding exactly what you need, or in knowing that everyone has time scheduled for themselves and also in that you only own what you truly need or want.
If you don't truly believe that organizing is my Secret Geek Super Power, than feast you eyes on this:



Who else would buy this! ( seriously great ideas in there )

Next on my organizing list is the attic!





Here's to finding joy in the simple things!
Cheers!

Jewelry and Thank You notes

Remember this ? Well, I got a very sweet email from Megan Steer thanking me for posting about her work! It was a nice feeling to know that something small I am doing has affected another person in a positive way. I just checked out her etsy site again and it is all still amazing. I also discovered she has a blog as well, www.lurajewelry.blogspot.com

And can I just say, a thank you note is a wonderful and a simple thing. I make an effort to write many thank you notes whenever I can and I am teaching my children to do the same. I truly hope that this simple courtesy stays a tradition in an age of teens and (now children) texting and instant messaging. A thank you should match the gift given and a texted " Thanx" just doesn't cut it.

Here's to holding on to simpler ways :)

Dare I dream it

I was standing under a canopy of gray branches in the kids "fairy garden" in my yard , and I was thinking that by my sons and husbands shared birthday of May 12th, there would be fluffy lilac blossoms and shiny green leaves adorning these limbs. And the first hopes of spring time entered into my mind.
This is usually a tricky time for Mainer's. It's typically dark, gray and TONS of snow, but somehow we've so far had a pretty mild intro to winter in 2010, and we've been really enjoying it. I really can't complain about minimal snow and 40+ degree days. It feels like the soft breezes and daffodils could arrive at any minute.
It seems like I should be knocking on wood, or keeping these thoughts to myself because it really could shift back into the dismal dirty huge snowbanks and gray skies we're all used to at any minute. But I can't help but look to the future spring and hope it will arrive within the six weeks the ground hog promised us.
Anyway, we have been enjoying weather, and the couple snow storms we have gotten. Here's some pics showing what we've been up to.

New Years Day Blizzard and trip to Kennebunk beach! And followed by a decadent breakfast at HP Provisions in Kennebunkport. Their version of Banana's Foster :Banana Bread Stuffed with Cream Cheese





Winter Picnic


When its 40 outside, its seventy on the sun porch!




How have you been keeping busy this winter?