One fish two fish red fish blue fish

We knew right away that we wanted to give the house look more antique its then its original 1986 vibe. (not knockin' the year, just don't like the design of the era) The original plan was to pull off the shutters, put 6 over 6 grids in the windows and do an over sized trim around the windows to give it more of an old antique New England cape kind of feel.

But when we pulled off the shutters.... We found that they hadn't been painted over the original color of Cape cod grey underneath!! The house "new " color ( Cabot stain in Slate) had faded, so we would have had to paint the whole face of the house to be able to keep the shutters off. We didn't have it in us to do that right then, as we were also ripping up carpet and laying flooring inside at the same time.( That's a whole other story.It. was.horrendous. ) (This is a actually a later pic)

So we ended up going with Sherwin Williams Super Paint in bright white and doing all the trim and shutters. We dithered on the door color for a bit but then eventually I painted that white too. though I cant' seem to find a pic even though it stayed that way for a year!

Oh and I forgot to mention that I removed and/or transplanted twenty-some mature bushes from the front yard. By hand. Like, with a shovel. No pics of that for some reason, probably because it was a huge giant overwhelming project. It took me two summers as a matter of fact. Though if I am being honest, two of those were pulled out using a back hoe run by a nice fella who goes by the name of "Boomie". I also moved a couple of bright red gates from the front yard. They had some of those dang bushes around them and they were the first thing I moved. Then I pulled those gates out of the ground. (thanks rock bar and cantilever effect!)They were truly out of place by their size and color. They cut the front yard in half bordering the edge of what was additional parking. Yes, In the front yard.Next to the large driveway. (????) Anyway with the help of my father in laws rota-tilling expertise and copious amounts of grass seed that area is now a front yard again. The giant red gates were moved to my in laws 8 acre pasture, though I keep forgetting to snap a pic when I am over there. The two gates largess (probably about 4ft tall by 4 ft wide each) looks very appropriate on their farm pasture. They are now the sentinels to a lovely mediation path that leads to a pond in the middle of the field. ( or as my kids and their cousins use it, "a path to run really fast down and look at the frog pond") So anway... We felt the white simplified the house in the way we were looking for, but it took another year before we got the look we were really going for- though we still have got to order those window grids.

You may have notice that all of the foundation plantings are missing from the last photo. That is because we are taking this:

Which happens to be the "pool" deck out back,though we never did see a pool attached to it. We are Lake and Beach (also swamp, apparently) people so we are ditching the pool deck, dissembling it and magically turning it into the base of a farmers porch on the front of the house! This particular brand of magic means pulling off gnarly exterior carpet and wrestling with corroded rusted screws....but eventually we will get there. And did you notice the swamp past the pool deck? That's why we call it Swamp Hollow! it's actually quite beautiful despite its name. And that other thing? Oh well that's just the bonfire we've been meaning to burn...for two summers...but like everything with this house, we'll get to it... eventually.

The Weekend

How was your weekend? Was it busy? Our weekend was really a fun one. On Saturday the studio where I work doing Massage had its annual craft fair. We had a great turnout because of our some awesome vendors featuring all things local to us- honey, fleece pelts and yarn, homemade salves, knitted items, driftwood art, handmade jewelry and tons more! I enjoyed running a table for natural products and giving some card readings for fun. It was so great to catch up with friends we hadn't seen for a while. The kids were with my mom most of the time, though they also ran around outside with their cousins a lot. And my main mans band was the entertainment. He's the one on the Mandolin. Aren't they a handsome group of fella's? They sounded great and created a festive atmosphere, as always. If you missed it and are in the mood for some bluegrass, they will be playing next Saturday the 17th at the School Around Us Fair located at Kennebunk Highschool from 9-12 Southern Maine Pickin' Society from left: Steve Mickeriz, Jess Greer, James Welsch, Read McNamara

After the fair my mother in law invited us in for her homemade Gulumpkies for dinner and they were divine!It's always nice to get the night off from cooking dinner every once in a while, even though I love to cook. The next day my lovely husband ran to the Auto parts store and replaced my brake pads and rotors on my car...with the kids....all while he let me sleep in! ( I may have stayed up a little late at a ladies night the previous evening*ahem*) I'll tell you what- I am one lucky lady! And because he really is quite an industrious guy, he decided to replace the antenna we lost in Super Storm Sandy so we could could get reception for the television again. We don't watch a lot of TV in general- but we definitely watch more in the winter. AND we have big plans to watch "The Dust Bowl" documentary airing on PBS this coming Sunday. I offered what little assistance I could... By taking picures...

...and holding the ladder.

I'm lucky I tell ya.

So now we are all ready for next weekend!Maybe we'll see ya at the fair:) And I'm working on a house post this week, so stay tuned! * I'm still figuring this blogging stuff out and for some reason the published post is not matching the original draft... so sorry for inappropriate italics and run on paragraphs. ( I know, its scandalous- )

Welcome to Swamp Hollow

Oh my goodness. A lot has a happened since my last post, and I am so excited to share. For instance, we bought a house and have been working on it like crazy. But for now, as I try to organize my ideas and remodeling pics, I just wanted to say, Welcome to Swamp Hollow

Odd Dreams and Car Trips

I woke up at four this morning from a dream with a fully written post in my head. It was the strangest feeling. I've been sick in bed for a few days with various ailments,(I'm on the mend now!) and I imagine my brain just got bored and decided to do some writing all on its own. If it comes out nonsensical I'm going to blame it on feverish delusions...



I have had the good fortune of having grown up in gorgeous New England. Both of my parents really made an effort to get us out to the prettiest spots for camping and visiting. When I was really young we used to travel along the Kancamagus Highway I don't recall whether we would camp or not, as I was four or so, but the scenery is lodged in my memory.

Living in a rural area means driving a lot. We spent a lot of time together in the car so naturally this is where all important discussions took place. Now that I am a parent I see that it really is a pretty great parenting technique to load the kids in the car and just drive. This is an easy way a parent can figure what music a child is interested in, or introduce them to new types music. This is how I discovered the weekend programming on NPR. My favorites, I've been listening to my whole life. Prairie Home Companion,Selected Shorts or Cartalk. (the latter probably responsible for my love of cars)

Of course it's easy to listen to music, radio or talk with your kids at home, but its harder to carve out time specifically for doing these things with out distraction. In the car there is the feeling of doing something as you are driving somewhere...but you are together in a vacuum of sorts. Also, there is the nice feature of not having to make eye contact. This was especially important to me in my tween and teenage years as I was super sensitive and easily embarrassed!This was were all of our heart to heart talks happened.

We drove all over the place. My Dad took me camping at the Bay of Naples and we often went to Sebago Lake State Park. (which has now succumbed to a terrible amount of erosion from watercraft) My mother and stepfather took us all hiking and camping in Gulf Hagus at the Katadin Iron Works. My step father took me ice fishing in Northern Maine. I spent A LOT of time at the beach in the summers.

When I was about ten (I think) we took the last trip as a family of five with my mum, stepfather ,myself and my two teenage sisters. It was a challenging trip as we all were cramped into a small Jeep Cherokee for the duration of around 2000 miles. Overnights were in tents at campgrounds rain or shine. We drove from Maine to Montana (I think for the month of August)stopping at National Parks like Yellowstone and Glacier.

It was an amazingly beautiful trip. I remember being intensely affected by the changes in landscape and grandeur of the mountains. I think that by choosing vacations that were based in experiencing natural beauty, my parents gave us kids the early ability to appreciate the world outside ourselves. To realize that we were part of something bigger then the day to day worries that everyone experiences. To this day looking at the ocean waves, or a mountain range is a wonderful reality check for me. My parents gave us the gift of perspective with these trips.

In the course of the following year my mother and stepfather divorced, we lost Megan to a car wreck and my sister Nikki went to college. I will always be thankful for that time we spent together on that trip before everything changed. That trip gave us unedited, uninterrupted time together that I will never forget.

Traveling still continued after that, though it mostly consisted of trips down to Maryland to see Nikki in College. We mostly drove but once I took the train down by myself. That time I got to sit in on one of Nik's classes discussing Robert Frosts "Birches" I felt so cool.
Most of the remaining trips of my youth were solo, with friends or by airplane, usually to visit my or my husbands (then boyfriend) family.

Today's rushed and distracted style of traveling just doesn't seem to have the same depth of purpose as what I remember as a child. I want to really try avoiding that type of travel when possible.

We bought a pop up camper from some friends last fall ( she needs some work!) and I can not wait to get it up and running for the bluegrass and folk festivals in New England this summer. The kids aren't old enough for big hiking trips, but I think we could hit up some local campgrounds to get started. I want to give my kids the gift of perspective my parents gave me in experiencing natural landscapes. Most importantly the connections and open communications formed when spending uninterrupted time with family.

Living with Gratitude

Today I am filled with feelings of gratitude. I don't know when I have ever had such a wonderful birthday. It seems like it has lasted a week starting with my sister, my brother in law and niece staying with us for a few days. They gave me a beautiful handmade silver ring as a gift that is embossed with the pattern of a leaf and adorned with three rivets. My sister is wearing one as well and she calls them "sister rings". I like that it has three rivets which I like to think represent we three sisters. Having them stay with us made my house feel full-vibrant and complete. Now that they have returned home I only want to hold onto that feeling as long as I can.



While they were here we attended my cousins shower for her second baby, and again I was filled with the feeling of belonging and completeness. There is something about being with people who share my DNA, who have known me my whole life...I see myself reflected in them and understand myself a little better for it. The shower was a sacred blessed event, not like any shower I've attended before, and I really feel closer to my family for having shared the experience with them. (Many blessing on the upcoming birth of your little baby girl cousin, Jen !!)

I spent my actual birthDAY getting my house decorated and tidied for the party. My kids were with me all day, and there were countless sweet moments were each would sing happy birthday and bestow a kiss. It was a mellow cozy day, and I spent a lot of it preparing the house for the party. I love to decorate and organize things so I really enjoyed myself. I also got periodic phone calls and drop ins from friends and family with birthday wishes, and that really made me feel special. Especially since this week I've been thinking a lot about the people who are no longer a part of my life to share these special days with me. Being so supported this week ( and everyday) by the people who make the effort to be a part of my life made grieving those I've lost a little less painful.

The kids were to spend the night at their Pappy and Babus house so we dropped them off there at dinner time. (they were so excited to sleepover!) We got them settled in and headed into town to pick up supplies, which we promptly left half of behind at the market in our haste! Jess had to go back just before the party started to retrieve the bag. :)

I had put candles and strings of white lights everywhere so it created an intimate feel to the space. Less folks attended then we anticipated, but it turned out to be the perfect amount. I got to have really great conversations that I will remember for a long time with the best of people.

Most of the folks who were there I have known at least half my life, and it was great to have them there. My friend Jessica Jo brought a letter I had written her when we were 14 that her mother had recently found. It was like opening a time capsule! After reading it I was struck by how much gentler my world view has become in the 15 years that have passed, though so much has happened in my life since that could of instead embittered me. I am so relieved that the challenges I've faced have taught me to live compassionately instead of fiercely.

Many conversations seemed to revolve around the passing of years and the sense of community that sharing that time creates. After most guests had left, the night drew to a close with Jess and I standing around with four very good friends, just laughing. Hardly anything was said that we didn't laugh about. The party wasn't the type of "rager" it would have been in the past, but I really wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Tomorrow I am looking forward to another celebration dedicated to spending with just family. My mother will of course be there, and with this birthday I have now been her daughter for a half of her life, as she was twenty nine when I was born. I am thankful that being born as her daughter I have inherited her love of exploring spirituality. And I am thankful to have been sooo fortunate to marry into a family I adore and who constantly strives to walk that same path of seeking higher truths.
My expectations for the day are only that I spend it together with some of the people I love most. Thank you to everyone who has had a part in making turning 29 the best birthday I've ever had.

I am filled with feelings of gratitude.

Define Success

Violet and Forest, 2008 *

I have found some really great mama blogs lately and I have really been enjoying them. Some of them portray super moms who seem to constantly be achieving successes on the homefront or in their careers or hobbies. But the ones I really love the most are the ones which seem relatable and honest. Here's a quote I really identified with from a blog I've been following , SmallThings: "If I am talking about canning homemade jam and sewing dresses here, you can bet my bathrooms are dirty, and my laundry isn't folded. "

I liked these simple words because I find a lot of parenting blogs tend to only highlight the successes in their parenting life without recording the challenges its taken to get them there. I think moms ( and people in general) are really hard on themselves and tend to compare themselves to examples that aren't complete. When I was struggling with a twenty month old and a newborn I felt like all the other parents I knew made it look easy. They seemed to have everything under control and to be completely at ease with parenting. I wondered why I seemed to be having such a hard time compared to my peers...

And then one day a while back, my cousin asked me, " How do you do it!? Two kids in diapers and you've got makeup on and your house is clean?!!" I could not believe she thought I was the one who had it all together when a lot of days I felt like a train wreck! But she didn't see the side of me that was struggling. All she saw is two happy kids and a mama who doesn't leave the house without mascara.**

That's when I realized that comparing myself to others is ridiculous. There is no way to tell how successful a person is or feels by watching from the outside. I know the old saying, "appearances can be deceiving", but I'm guessing being sleep deprived and hormonal interfered with my logic at the time.

What I have been thinking on lately is avoiding making sweeping judgements about myself or parenting at all. With my first baby I had a lot of ideas about the "right way" to parent and that involved some judgment of others. After having raised a second child the same way, and realizing that he needed a completely different approach, I know that there is no right way, It all depends on who you are and who they are. It all is completely individual. So it makes absolutely no sense to compare myself to others whether it is negative or positive.

So I like it when I read about or talk to other people who are open about their struggles. It feels so nice to be able to relate to someone while knowing we all have our own individual challenges and success. It also makes me feel more compassionate overall to realize we are all just doing the best we can.

* adjustment period!
** masacara is my "power suit" if I have it on, I feel ready to face anything. If I don't have it on, I feel out of sorts. Doesn't need to be reapplied or accompanied by any other makeup. Just gotta walk out the door with it on.

Some pretty things I've found Thrifting